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Why Most People Are Terrible at Making Life's Big Decisions (And The Framework That Actually Works)
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Everyone thinks they're great at making decisions until they're staring down the barrel of a really big one.
I've spent the better part of two decades watching smart, capable professionals absolutely freeze when faced with career-changing choices. The lawyer who can argue a case brilliantly but can't decide whether to make partner or start their own firm. The marketing manager who analyses consumer behaviour for a living but spends six months agonising over whether to relocate to Sydney.
Here's what I've learnt: most people approach big decisions the same way they'd choose a Netflix show - endless scrolling, analysis paralysis, and eventually settling for something mediocre because they're exhausted.
The Problem With Traditional Decision-Making Advice
Those self-help books love their pros and cons lists, don't they? "Just weigh up the options!" they chirp, as if life's biggest choices can be reduced to a simple mathematical equation.
Bollocks.
I've seen more good decisions torpedoed by pros and cons lists than bad ones saved by them. Why? Because most people are terrible at predicting how they'll actually feel about outcomes. That promotion to Perth might look great on paper, but you can't quantify missing your daughter's weekend footy matches in a neat little column.
The real issue is that we're asking the wrong questions entirely. Instead of "What should I do?", we should be asking "Who am I becoming?" Big decisions aren't just about choosing paths - they're about choosing identities.
The 73% of successful executives I've worked with share one common trait: they make decisions based on trajectory, not just immediate outcomes. They think like investors, not shoppers.
What Nobody Tells You About Decision Fatigue
Here's something that'll make you rethink your whole approach: your brain has about as much decision-making stamina as a marathon runner has physical endurance. By 3pm on a Tuesday, you're basically running on decision-making fumes.
I learnt this the hard way during my early consulting days. Used to schedule all my big client strategy sessions in the afternoon because it felt more "executive-like." Wondered why my recommendations were consistently ordinary until a neuroscientist mate explained that I was essentially asking my brain to bench-press with spaghetti arms.
Now I tackle major decisions first thing in the morning, when my mental energy is at its peak. Steve Jobs had the right idea with his uniform - eliminate trivial choices to preserve cognitive capacity for the ones that matter.
But here's where it gets interesting. Decision fatigue isn't just about timing. It's about creating systems that reduce the cognitive load of choice-making altogether.
The Three-Lens Framework (That Actually Works)
Forget everything you've heard about decision-making processes. After working with hundreds of executives across Melbourne, Brisbane, and beyond, I've distilled it down to three simple lenses. Think of them as filters that help clarify the fog around big choices.
Lens One: The Regret Test Instead of asking "What if this goes wrong?", ask "What will I regret not trying in ten years?" This flips the script entirely. Most people optimise to avoid failure rather than pursuing meaningful success.
I had a client - brilliant operations manager at a major bank - who spent months debating whether to start her own consulting practice. The pros and cons list was getting longer than a Centrelink queue. So I asked her the regret question. Her answer was immediate: "I'll regret not knowing if I could have built something amazing."
She handed in her notice the following week. Two years later, her consultancy is thriving, and she's never looked back.
Lens Two: The Values Alignment Check This one's where most people trip up. They make decisions based on what they think they should want rather than what actually matters to them. Career advancement might be important, but if it conflicts with your core value of family time, you're setting yourself up for misery.
The trick is being brutally honest about your real values, not the ones that look good on your LinkedIn profile. I value autonomy over security - took me years to admit that because it didn't seem "responsible." Once I acknowledged it, every major decision became clearer.
Companies like Canva and Atlassian get this right. They've built cultures that attract people whose values align with their mission, rather than trying to change people to fit their culture.
Lens Three: The Energy Audit Here's the lens that changed everything for me: does this decision give me energy or drain it? Not in the short term - we all have to do tedious stuff. But over the medium term, does thinking about this path make you feel more alive or more tired?
I used to think this was fluffy nonsense until I realised that energy is your most reliable internal compass. Your subconscious processes information far faster than your rational mind. When something consistently energises you, it's usually because it aligns with who you're meant to become.
The Decision-Making Mistakes That'll Derail Your Career
Mistake #1: Waiting for Perfect Information Perfect information doesn't exist. You'll never have all the facts, and trying to gather them is often just sophisticated procrastination. Smart executives make decisions with 70% of the information they'd ideally want.
Amazon's Jeff Bezos calls this "disagree and commit." Once you've got enough information to make a reasonably informed choice, commit fully rather than hedging your bets.
Mistake #2: Consulting Too Many People Everyone's got an opinion about your life choices, and most of them are projecting their own fears and limitations onto your situation. I've seen brilliant people paralysed because they tried to accommodate everyone's advice.
Keep your decision-making circle small and select. Find two or three people whose judgement you trust completely, whose values align with yours, and who genuinely want to see you succeed. Everyone else gets the standard "thanks for your input" response.
Mistake #3: Overthinking the Reversibility Not every decision is permanent. Some choices can be undone, modified, or evolved. The key is distinguishing between reversible decisions (which you can make quickly) and irreversible ones (which deserve more consideration).
Starting a side business? Reversible. Having kids? Less reversible. Moving interstate for work? Somewhere in between.
Mistake #4: Ignoring Your Track Record You've made dozens of significant decisions in your life already. What patterns emerge? When have you been happiest with your choices? When have you regretted them? Your decision-making history is data worth analysing.
I realised I always performed best when I made bold moves that felt slightly uncomfortable. That insight shaped every major career decision afterwards.
The Reality of Living With Big Decisions
Here's what the motivation speakers won't tell you: even good decisions come with downsides. Every choice involves trade-offs, and part of making peace with big decisions is accepting what you're giving up.
When I left corporate consulting to start my own practice, I gave up the security of a steady salary and the prestige of a big brand name. Worth it? Absolutely. But pretending those weren't real sacrifices would be dishonest.
This is why stress reduction becomes so crucial when navigating major life changes. The uncertainty inherent in big decisions is mentally taxing, and managing that stress effectively can mean the difference between thriving and barely surviving.
The best decision-makers I know don't agonise over whether they made the "right" choice. They make a decision, commit to it fully, and then work to make it the right choice through their actions.
The 68% of successful career pivots happen not because people found the perfect opportunity, but because they committed to making their chosen path work.
When Not to Make Big Decisions
Timing matters more than most people realise. There are seasons in your life when you should be making bold moves, and others when stability is more important.
Don't make major decisions when you're:
- In the middle of a significant life transition (divorce, bereavement, health crisis)
- Highly stressed or emotionally reactive
- Under external pressure with artificial deadlines
- Comparing yourself to others rather than focusing on your own path
Sometimes the best decision is to not make a decision yet. There's wisdom in strategic patience, especially when the stakes are high.
I once had a client ready to quit her executive role because she was frustrated with organisational politics. We delayed the decision for three months while she worked on managing the political dynamics differently. By month four, she'd turned the situation around and ended up with a promotion. Sometimes the decision isn't about changing your circumstances - it's about changing your approach to them.
The Compound Effect of Decision-Making
Here's something that took me years to understand: your decision-making ability compounds over time. Every big choice you make builds your confidence for the next one. Every small decision creates momentum toward or away from the life you want.
The executives I most admire aren't necessarily the ones who made perfect decisions. They're the ones who made decisions consistently and learnt from the outcomes. Decision-making is a skill like any other - it improves with deliberate practice.
This is particularly relevant in our current business environment. The pace of change means we're all facing bigger decisions more frequently than previous generations. The ability to decide quickly and adjust course as needed has become a competitive advantage.
Companies like Atlassian have built this into their culture with their "move fast and fix" philosophy. They'd rather make a quick decision and iterate than spend months trying to perfect the choice upfront.
The Bottom Line
Life's big decisions aren't really about choosing the perfect path - they're about choosing a direction and committing to walking it with intention. The three-lens framework will help you cut through the noise, but ultimately, the quality of your decisions matters less than the quality of your commitment to them.
Most people are waiting for certainty that never comes. The high performers I work with in Sydney, Melbourne, and Brisbane have learnt to be comfortable with uncertainty while being decisive about direction.
Your next big decision is probably closer than you think. When it arrives, remember: you don't need perfect information, universal approval, or guaranteed outcomes. You just need clarity about who you're becoming and the courage to take the next step toward that person.
The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now. Same principle applies to most of life's big decisions.
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